Cup Check (2011)

Sometimes, what everyone needs is a swift kick in the nuts; a reality check so to speak; a humbling of sorts to re-ground themselves and re-calibrate the moral compass. Often these are harmless, jovial kicks and others are friends kindly (or not) reminding you that you “aren’t all that”.
Ball busting is as much a fire service tradition as a washing down, perhaps even older. For as long as I have been in the company of other fire fighters, I have had my balls busted and I have busted balls.
Nearly every single “Rules for Probies” type publication I have ever seen has at some point a line referring to “being thick skinned” and not taking offense to the pranks and light harassment. The Fire Critic has even dedicate an entire section of his site to fire house practical jokes. I have always felt that jokes and pranks of this sort are a bonding tool, used to build camaraderie and a feeling of belonging. I have to admit, my intentions were not always received and I had to explain a time or two that simply put, I don’t kid around or poke fun at people I don’t like (right Cameron?). To me, ball busting is, or rather should be, a right-of-passage sort of thing, something we reserve for friends.
Even the non-humor kicking is best taken from peers. I recently had a member tell me that I am, among other things, arrogant. Ouch! Cup wasn’t setting quite right. That one hurt. He didn’t stop there, but kept on kicking until I anted up and qualified my position regarding personnel issues. In the end, his ball busting helped me realize that I had strayed from my leadership obligations; I had allowed influence from others and my own attitude issues to cloud my judgement of what I knew to be right. I was treating another fire fighter poorly and perhaps unfairly, rather than stepping up into the role of a leader and working to correct the perceived deficiencies of said fire fighter. What I needed, and certainly got, was a swift kick to the nuts to humble me; to put me in my place. Bottom line is that I don’t get to choose who I work with (especially in an all volunteer based system) so I need to find ways to make our organization work with who I have (thanks, John).
The most recent check I had was in a reply to an excuse laden email that whined about the poor quality of management I am surrounded by and how they mistreat me. I was looking for sympathy and perhaps common ground to lament over, but instead got yup, you’re right, a swift kick to the nuts. Just what the doctor ordered. Funny thing about it, I knew the answer before reading it, hell, I knew the answer before I typed the question! Sometimes we just need to hear it from someone else, preferably someone we respect or admire (thanks, UU).
Keep in mind, when your cohorts take a swing at you, they mean well. Ball busting is in some forms the fire fighter’s way of providing constructive criticism. As tough, macho fire fighters we aren’t always good at sitting down for an “intervention” type discussion; we much prefer standing around kicking your “area”. So next time you’re the one on the ground being kicked, don’t just start kicking back, but listen to what is being said. Often the best remedy after being kicked is a thorough self-examination (not literally, unless you were actually, physically kicked). My experience has proven that I always have areas that I can do better in and I either didn’t recognize them or am unwilling to admit to them until feeling some pain.
Sometimes, the cup check is just an initiation of sorts and reacting with ire is like blood in the water to sharks. Laugh with the brothers and sisters and next time you’ll be one of the ones laughing at rather than the one being laughed at.
So whether it’s humble pie, a dose of reality, or just good natured ribbing, let’s all keep this lesser recognized fire service tradition alive and well. We owe it to each other. Besides, a cup is just another piece of PPE, and how else do you check for it but to kick away!